He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose. -Jim Elliott
I keep reminding myself of this. We’re barely getting our feet wet and already have moments that feel like things are moving slowly. In reality, Chris was a mad-man checking things off the list like no one’s business. We felt like we were charging ahead full speed. Now, we’re waiting for more meetings and evaluations… hurry up and wait….
We were so excited to have completed so much of our homework. Then we found out that the notary’s signature had to include a specific statement so some papers have to be redone. Shoot! Discouraged.
We were added to a private Facebook group with other families that are adopting from Haiti. These families have mostly completed their paper chase and are waiting for a referral/ match/ to be notified of a child ready for adoption. Some of these families are waiting years– 48 months, 35 months– for a match then even longer to meet and bring home their babies. Discouraged.
Then we got a group email update on the agency’s Haiti program as a whole. Currently, the attorneys in Haiti are on strike so there is no movement on the legal side at all. Hopefully, there will be a change on the administration side and then the attorney’s plan to get rolling again. Two families have had progress. One, after a 4.3 year process, including 17 months between their bonding trip and bring home day, have their sons home. The other family, has had 11 months since their bonding trip and got word that they have been approved to bring their child home. Happy for those families but the wait… ugh… discouraged.
It’s easy to be discouraged. Such is life. We knew it was going to be a long wait. There is a lot to do in the meantime. Plus, family Christmas activities have been a nice opportunity to take a break from the sometimes- overwhelming adoption process.
“The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” Deuteronomy 31:8.
Encouragment! We have plenty to be thankful for. A momentary little blip of discouragement is already fading away. There is talk amongst our friends and family of fundraisers to come. I’m reading a book called “In on it: What adoptive parents would like you to know about adoption” and plan to pass it along to family and friends if anyone is interested. There are more options for online learning and group discussions. We have to scan some papers then email them to our adoption coordinator– that sould pass some time. Haha. Not to mention all the duties that bless our family of four currently.
I recently learned the new terminology– the family, friends, mentors, teachers, etc that encourage and support the adoptive family are called the adoption circle. I love that term. As a child, our church would occasionally circle up, hold hands and sing “One in the Bond of Love.” It was a meanigful ritual that I always enjoyed. For the longest time I thought the lyrics were One in the Pond of Love. I always imagined us standing in a pond and holding hands. Haha. When I read about the adoption circle, it gave me similar sentiment. I love and appreciate the support from each of you. You don’t even have to hold my hand and stand in a pond. In fact, people in ponds make me nervous so let’s just be bonded, not pond-ed!
We’re continuing our process, slow and steady. Our social worker is coming to our house in January and then again in February. We’ll be interviewed individually, as a couple and then the kids will be interviewed as well. Also a tour of our home and chekcing for safety issues, etc. Smoke dectors, check. Outlet covers, check. All ideas for safe homes welcome. A 13 page report will soon be created which will be our official “Home Study.” More paper work, more finger printing, more certified documents then it’ll all be sent to the state to be certifed. Then we’ll have an official “dossier” packet. Before it’s sent to Haiti, it’ll be translated into Creole. But first, psych evals for both of us… this should be interesting. LOL. I’ll keep everyone updated.
Before you go, take a couple minutes to read this particularly moving post on AWAA’s blog . What a tear-jerker! It’s so heartwarming to hear from other families along their journey’s. Thanks for following ours!